The plants are alive.

Friday, August 26, 2016


I am not an expert gardener by any means. The only flowers we had in my family's yard hung in baskets from our rain gutters. So to my amazement, everything still continues to grow. No matter how many times I forget to water the plants. 
They still bloom. 
They still grow.
 
 
Realizing this today caused me to reflect, because you see, I've been overcome with worry lately. 

The last couple days I've been worrying and fretting. 
Worried about paying for my last year of school.  
Frustrated that as much as I work I can't always buy what I want. 
Hello discipline.
Anxious that I'll barely get by once school starts. 
Just plain worried. 

But then I paused, looked up, and saw these flowers and plants looking back at me. 

And then these words flooded my heart.
 
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
 
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow.
 
Matthew 6 v 26-28 

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. 

Matthew 11 v 28 

But whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life. 

John 4 v 14 
 


The fact is, God will provide me just as he provides for the birds of the air and the plants in my house and back yard. And He will do the same for you!

He is there, and in Him I can find my peace. I can give those worries and frustrations to Him and rest. 

And also thank Him, that through His creation I can be reminded that He is there supplying all my needs, in this moment. In this time.  

Look at a tree, a flower, a plant. Let your awareness rest upon it. How still they are, how deeply rooted in being. Allow nature to teach you stillness. 

Stillness Speaks 
Eckhart Tolle 

Thank you for watering the plants Ryken. 

My mess is my message.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016


Lately God has been tugging on my heart to share my mess, because as I've come to discover, my mess is my message to the world that He is working. So we'll start with what started this pull I've been feeling, and it starts with a psychiatric care unit.



Five months ago I stepped out in faith and applied for two positions as a CNA. One was to work on the floor of a rehabilitation center and the other was to work on the psych unit of the hospital. Both positions were part time, but as I was finishing my second year of nursing school, I really needed a position I could float to during the school year. My recruiter, excited about my interest in psych, got me an interview right away, and then I heard... nothing. I couldn't fill the part time position they needed, so I waited. It was then that I had received a phone call almost a month later, that my recruiter had worked with the psych unit to create an on-call position for me. If that isn't a giant red sign reading, "You're supposed to be here," I don't know what is? I happily accepted, but then discovered that I would need to make up a week of school to attend the new employee orientation. At first my teacher's response was a definite no, understandably. But as spring term began to progress, they told me that I could attend orientation as long as I made up the hours I missed before the end of the term.

God had a plan. 

Four months and six days later, I am absolutely in love with what I do. As a mental health aide, I'm able to be there for people in some of their darkest moments. I'm able to pray and be a listening ear to some of the most beautiful people I have ever had the chance of knowing and caring for. It is a job that has caused me to seek God more and to pray without ceasing for the hurting.

God knows what He's doing. 

I hope to share some of the miracles that I have seen take place, no names or descriptions attached. Just small miracles that I know God has his hands on.

Stay tuned.

These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.
John 15 v 11

Medford Women's Fight Night Part I

Tuesday, August 23, 2016



These words spoken at the August 1st Medford Women's Fight Night pulled on my heart so much, I had to write them down. Maybe one of them will resonate with you too. 

"You orchestrated these words so long ago and we thank you Father."
"I have accurately portrayed who I want you to think who I am." 
"Sometimes t's not a big fear that stands in our way, but a lot of little ones."
"There is freedom in saying no." 
"Sometimes in order to say yes to God, we have to say no."

The thief comes to steal and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
John 10 v 10

"Satan will take on any form (fear, ect.) to keep you from fulfilling your destiny." 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 
Romans 8 v 28 

"I gave you a life to live... I want you to live without fear." 
"Do not worry about tomorrow." 
"It is in my greatest weakness, I have found my strength." 
"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." 
"You unravel me like a melody." 

"I am so thankful for these daughters of Zion." 
"We have to open our eyes to what he's already given us and just dive into him." 



"I pray for a fresh anointing... Continue to sing your love song to us Lord." 

Book clubs and good reads.

Saturday, January 2, 2016

This year begins with book clubs. Book clubs that I am convinced will change my life by the end of them. I am currently participating in Nancy Ray's book club of Nancy Ray's Photography and Applegate Fellowship's women's study of the bible.
It's only been two days and I have read through five chapters of Genesis and the first chapter of "How to Win Friends and Influence People." 

Things I have learned from "How to Win Friends and Influence People":
- Do not criticize, condemn, or complain. 
- The people we condemn or criticize will probably justify him or herself and condemn us in return. 
- Stay away from sending insulting letters, emails or texts. If you must, write away, but do not send. 
- "Judge not, that ye be not judged."
“Don’t criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances.”
- "Don't complain about the snow on your neighbor's roof, when your own doorstop is unclean." Confucius 
- If you want to stir up resentments that may last until death... By all means participate in criticism. 
- "We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity." 
- I will speak ill of no man and speak all the good I know of everybody.
- Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. 
Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness.”

Things I have learned from the bible: 
- Genesis one has taught me to be more thankful of the world around me and the magnitude of God's work. He is the ultimate provider and has given not only us but also the animals of the sea, land, and air all that we could ever need. 
- We were all created in his image and have his breath of life in us. 
- Though the fall occurred, God has never left us and the story of his son can be found in the names found in Genesis 5. No seriously... Read this article to learn more: http://www.khouse.org/articles/1996/44/


Just thankful.

Thursday, December 31, 2015

2015. Looking back.

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

 
This year was probably one of the most difficult yet rewarding years of my young adult life. 

At the beginning of this year I was living in Klamath Falls just starting winter term of my first year of nursing school. 
I was voted in as our chapters Student Nurses Association President. 
I attended the National Student Nurse Association Conference in Portland. 
I learned how to roll sushi and egg rolls, grow wheat grass, juice vegetables, and make shrub with my best friend. 
I participated in OIT's astronomy club and learned more about the stars, moon, and planets than I'd ever learned before. 
I looked through a celestron telescope. 
I attended Kava ceremonies, Hawaiian luaus, International dinners, and Jewish weddings. 
I moved from Klamath Falls to Medford to be closer to my love during his externship. 
I found an apartment at a complex where there was a no vacancy sign hanging on the door. 
I found a job that works with my school schedule. 
By the grace and provision of God I paid off debts that had gone to collections and have managed to make enough money to pay all of my bills on time each month. 
I performed and sang at various events and even was brave enough to sing my own songs at the Southern Oregon Songwriters Association open mic twice. 
I saw two concerts at Britt. 
I saw Count of Monte Cristo at the Shakespeare festival and took a  jet boat ride down the rogue river. 
Ate the best sushi of my life. 
Explored Portland twice with my love. 
Survived the hardest term of my nursing school career. 
I found out how loved I am and how grateful I am that God brought in such lovely people into my life. 

I learned how to trust and not worry (as much). 

2016.

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

2016 is for contenment and enjoying the moment. 
2016 is for loving Ryken more and more everyday. 
2016 is for being more environmentally friendly.
2016 will be the year I do a full pull up by myself. 
2016 is for finishing my second year of nursing school. 
2016 is for healthy living. 
2016 is for working as if working for the Lord. Not men. 
2016 is for minimalism and only buying what I need. 
2016 is for praying and war rooms. 
2016 is for growing out my hair. 
2016 is for stretching and movement.
2016 is for drinking lots of water. 
2016 is for writing and writing some more. 
2016 is for adventure. 
2016 is for putting the phone down and connecting. 
2016 is for dreaming bigger. 
2016 is for Nancy Ray's book club reading. 
2016 is for baking, cooking, and creating a cook book of our favorite recipes.
2016 is for chasing hard after God and learning what it means to be a cheerful giver. 
2016 is for writing and lots of music. 



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